Hair Back, Collar Up, Jet Black, So Cool
by Yin Long Nocturne
Summary: Basically nb, punk Haruhi who takes no shit from anyone. And doesn't let zirself get involved with the crazy that is Ouran High School Host Club, no matter how much they try.


A/N: I just really wanted nonbinary Haruhi, and I happened to be listening to MCR and Frank Iero's solo album at the time, so it morphed into punk, nb Haruhi. Title is from Vampire Money by My Chemical Romance.

Haruhi uses ze/zir/zirself pronouns.

Updated 10-11-15: typos, minor punctuation; really just some little stuff that nonetheless made me cringe.

* * *

Haruhi doesn't wear zir own clothes because ze can't afford the school's uniform. Ze wears them because ze never wants to wear the poofy, utterly ridiculous dress that is the female uniform. And frankly, ze thinks the male uniform isn't much better. Everything in the school is too flashy. Haruhi is neutral, and ze likes that. Perhaps that's a reaction to Ranka but ze doesn't really think so. Ze's pretty sure ze'd always be the ze is.

Ze thinks the neat black suit and trim rectangle glasses are quite suitable, even for such an 'upper class' school. And ze keeps zir short hair neatly combed back - thankfully it's near pin straight and easy to manage. The watch ze habitually wears is large but not clunky - it was the last present ze received from zir mother before she died. Zir nails are kept short but neat and ze takes out all but a single set of zir piercings before ze gets anywhere near Ouran's grounds.

When ze first meets the Ouran High School Host Club ze had just been evicted from one of the libraries and zir wonderful nap on top of zir biology textbook. Ze had been hoping that one of the other libraries would be quiet. But it seemed that zir fellow classmates didn't come to school to do anything but gossip. Ze was searching for a quiet place to study/nap in the future when ze stumbled across Music Room #3. Ze certainly wasn't expecting to find out the school had a _host club_ of all things. Now, Haruhi isn't the most graceful on the best of days. Certainly, one thing ze didn't inherit from zir father was his natural grace. It's something ze always laments.

Particularly when ze backs aways from the group of second and third years clustered around zir, and promptly bumps into something. Which smashes on the floor. Ze is smoothly informed by one Ootori Kyouya that the vase that ze just broke is worth a quite a considerable sum. Haruhi, with seemingly no input needed on zir own behalf, is quickly conscripted into said host club. Ze tried to protest ze could work the debt off on zir own. Zir had two part time jobs; a slightly illegal one tending bar at Ranka's favourite club. And a slightly less illegal one running board at several small venues in a rougher part of the city.

Then comes the 'makeover' because, utterly unsurprisingly they are all _way_ too invested in their appearances. Except perhaps Morinozuka, who seems to be there as an accessory/bodyguard for Haninozuka. They also get it into their heads that ze is a girl. That bastard Ootori hacked zir medical records.

* * *

When ze flatly refuses to put on the dress after the incident Ayanokoji - or permanently wear contacts - and tells them firmly that if ze ever has to wear makeup, ze's putting it on zirself…

"Bu-b-b-but!" Tamaki Suoh is a perpetually emotional wreck it seems. "We must get you out of those horrible clothes! No flower like my dear Haruhi should be forced to wear such plain clothes!"

"Those 'horrible clothes' are mine. And I'll thank you to not presume things about my life." Haruhi's voice was flat and ze levelled a death glare at the orange haired twins that were sneaking closer. "Given that it seems a working relationship will not be possible." Ze paused and turned towards the bespectacled bastard, "Ootori, the money will be paid back in installments, monthly over the next three years. I'll settle any remaining balance when I graduate."

"Very well. I'll have my lawyers draw up a contract." There was an ominous glint in his eyes as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 'Clearly he thinks I'm an idiot who'll sign the contract without reading it first. Even so, I should get Matsu to look it over for me.' Ze thought once ze was out of the Music Room the Host Club had taken over. Matsu was the manager for most of the bands ze ran board for. Ze'd gotten to know him well the past summer, Haruhi trusted his judgement, and his familiarity with contracts. As well as sneaky lawyers.

As ze told zir father that night at dinner. "I have it under control. I'll get Matsu to look the contract over for me. And send back a counter of my own to Ootori. My work will pay it off over the next few years. Besides, the alternative isn't something I want to consider."

"But darling! You know I don't like you working so much. The thought of my poor Haruhi slaving away to pay of a debt all through zir high school years… I simply cannot take it!"

"Yes, yes. I know. It will all be fine. You also know that I love my work. I wouldn't give it up for anything. Even you, dad." With a slight frown her father cuddled zir close. 'So overprotective' Haruhi thought with a small smile.

* * *

"Who did you piss off to get a contract like this?" Matsu mumbled around his cigarette.

"Ootori. The shadow king of the Host Club at my school. There was an incident, a vase that was supposed to be auctioned was damaged. Thus I have a debt to repay."

"That would only explain half the clauses in this."

"I also vehemently refused to get involved in the Host Club at all. Which is what they originally decided."

"How'd they get you to agree to that?" Matsu snorted, finally looking up from the sheaf of papers in his hands.

"They didn't."

"Ah, I get it now." Matsu chuckled, "That steel in your spine became very apparent and the little king didn't like his authority being questioned." At Haruhi's scowl deepening in response he laughed again, slapping zir on the back. "You want me to send this to my sister?"

Haruhi's head snapped up, a malicious glint creeping into zir eyes. "Would you?"

"Oh, I'd love to. And so would she. She's had a grudge against the Ootori family since law school."

"How long do you think it'll take her to draw up the return?"

"For this." Matsu rapped the back of his hand against the sheaf of papers. "She'll pull an all nighter to get this done. You've just given her a very tempting prize." Matsu tilted his head slightly, "You're working Vintage this Thursday, right?"

"Yeah, Sayu's playing and she claimed dibs on me years ago."

"Right, right. I'll have it back to you by then."


End file.
